Don't Ask, Don't Tell?

William Sjostrom ponders replacement Bonds mooted by the Guardian and is, correctly, unimpressed. Like him, I couldn't imagine Clive Owen or Eric Bana carrying it off. Jude Law is way too pretty for 007 and I'm trying to pretend that the Guardian was joking in suggesting the vastly overrated and incredibly irritating Ewan McGregor as James Bond.

One of the reasons proffered for the preponderance of (allegedly) closet gay Hollywood actors is that the public, eminently capable of suspension of disbelief in all other areas, is stubbornly resistant to doing so when it comes to the lead character's sexuality. Thus, Keanu Reeves is "believable" as a doctor or a lawyer, Sean Connery is "believable" as a Russian submarine commander who, by some fluke, managed to grow up in Scotland. Yet conventional wisdom holds that nobody buys any of the "chemistry" between Anne Heche, then Ellen Degeneres' paramour, and Harrison Ford in 6 days 7 nights and that this is not because Ford is almost old enough to be her grandfather but because of Heche's (then) sexuality. Once an actor comes out, they tend to be considered best suited for gay roles.

So, AtlanticBlog's endorsement of Rupert Everett as the new James Bond offers the intriguing suggestion of a gay 007. Whither, in this case, the Bond Babes? "Gadgets and Girls Guys" doesn't quite have the same ring or appeal...

Comments

[Abiola Lapite]

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"Yet conventional wisdom holds that nobody buys any of the "chemistry" between Anne Heche, then Ellen Degeneres' paramour, and Harrison Ford in 6 days 7 nights and that this is not because Ford is almost old enough to be her grandfather but because of Heche's (then) sexuality."

Which is ironic in light of her subsequent marriage and motherhood, no? Heche was your classic lipstick lesbian; if she'd been a college girl one might have called her a LUG (Lesbian Until Graduation).

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[Frank McGahon]

Which is ironic in light of her subsequent marriage and motherhood, no?

Indeed, perhaps with the benefit of hindsight and Heche's current status as a "breeder" (literally so) , six days and seven nights will be now be seen to demonstrate the smouldering chemistry between Ford and the "closet straight" Heche that wasn't apparent on its original cinema release!

[Dick O'Brien]

I didn't think that having relationships with both women and men made you a "lipstick" or any other sort of faux-lesbian?

[Frank McGahon]

Dick, you are to be congratulated on your broadminded outlook, I would have thought, in my own narrow little way, that having relationships with men disqualified one from the lesbian sorority. Isn't it on the first page of the manual?

[Abiola Lapite]

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"I didn't think that having relationships with both women and men made you a "lipstick" or any other sort of faux-lesbian?"

Well, I'd say it does, as I don't consider "lesbian" and "bisexual" to be identical in meaning.

In Anne Heche's case, I'm doubtful that even "bisexual" would be the right term to use, as she's never had any other same-sex relationships other than the one with Ellen DeGeneres, and while it was going on, the conventional wisdom was that this was primarily a profile-boosting move on Heche's part than anything else, a position I think subsequent events have borne out.

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[Dick O'Brien]

Well, what I meant to say is that "lipstick lesbian" is often a derogratory term for tourists. Who say's you can't have meaningful relationships with people from both sexes? Lots of people do!

[Abiola Lapite]

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"Who say's you can't have meaningful relationships with people from both sexes? Lots of people do!"

That I won't dispute. It's just that Heche doesn't strike me as one of those people - unless you count using someone else to boost your media profile a "meaningful" relationship. There are any number of women out there who like to play at being lesbians for a while and then cast it aside when it's time to go find a hubby, and she fits right into that mold.

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