Boom Boom!

Mrs Tilton dusts off the old Bosnian-striker-signs-for-Limerick-FC joke and smartens it up for a new era in the service of slagging off Kickers Offenbach:

Kickers' manager is desperate to find affordable talent. He hears rumours from post-war Iraq of a dazzling 18-year old Baghdad Wunderkind. Travelling to that shattered city he confirms with his own eyes the truth of the rumours and signs the lad to a contract.

The kid earns his wages, and more. With his help, the Kickers go from strength to strength. [..].

It's a busy life of training and matches, and the young Iraqi misses his family. So he rings his mother, just to keep in touch.

'Hallo, Mum, and how are you all doing?'

'Terrible, son; it's simply terrible.'

'Oh no! What's wrong?'

'You could better ask, 'What's right? The mobs have looted our shop, burnt our house and stolen the car!'

'My God, that's awful!'

'And it gets worse. Your sister has been assaulted, your father beaten, and men in balaclavas bundled your brother into a van; we haven't seen him since.'

'That's appalling. What can I say? I'm so sorry.'

'Sorry? That's all you have to say -- you're sorry?! It's only because of you that we came to Offenbach in the first place!

Comments

[Brian]

I remember back when Wycombe knocked out Leicester City in an FA Cup quarterfinal (which started the downward spiral from which the club still hasn't totally recovered; they were challenging for a spot in Europe when it happened). The winner was scored by a striker Wycombe had recruited via the Internet.